Damages of Neglect, Part II
I knew the check was no good. As I was trying to pull on the big glass door to the store—it suddenly opened wide ahead of me. A man behind me said, there ya’ go little miss. I just put my head down and walked to the back of the store where the pharmacy was located. I had done this before and was so afraid to ask if they’d cash the check.
I looked up and saw this really tall man standing behind the counter with his white coat on like doctors wear. His name was written in red across the top of a pocket but I didn’t know what it said. He had real blond hair and red things all over his face. His blue eyes glanced down at me with disgust, and he ignored me. I stood there for a few minutes waiting on him to look at me again. He didn’t. I held up the check to him standing on my tiptoes and said, “Sir, can you okay this check for my Mom?” He ripped the check out of my hands and looked at it and quickly handed it back and said, no, we’ve gotten too many checks returned.
I knew that if I didn’t get the check cashed; I’d really be in trouble. So, I persisted and even lied to him, and said, “oh, I know this one is good, because I put the money in the bank myself.” He took the check back and I felt relief that he was going to okay it. Then, he picked up the phone and called the bank! I could hear him reading them numbers and saying that they had checks returned before for non something funds. He laughed, and said, yeh… ”just what I figured.” He handed me back the check and said, it’s no good. I was so embarrassed and humiliated as people standing around were shaking their heads. I wished I could just disappear, or just die.
I started out of the store with the check in my hand and tears running down my face and walked faster and faster until I was outside. I ran across the parking lot and jumped into the backseat and threw the check up over the seat to her. She said in a shocked voice, “well, you didn’t get it cashed!” I said, they wouldn’t cash it. I was wiping the tears off my face; I didn’t want them to see me crying. Dad said, I bet you anything by god she just went in there and stood and come back out so we’d think she tried to get it cashed. Now, “get your ass back in there and get that damn check cashed now!”
I felt so many things as they both were laughing to each other and saying I just went in there and stood for a while, so they’d think I tried to get it cashed. Dad said, “what did I do to you the last time you lied to me?” I was crying hard now and didn’t care, and I was so mad at them. Oh, how I hated them at that very moment. I said that man in the white coat called the bank, and they told him it wasn’t any good! I’m not lying! Dad looked back at me and said, “oh look Myra, the little baby is crying because they called the bank and laughed some more.”
Well Joe, “what the hell are we gonna’ do now? There’s not a damn thing at the house to eat.” He glanced back at me as he was pulling out and said, “hey Dot, doesn’t your teacher own a little grocery store?” I said, “yeh.” And wondered what he was going to do. He said, “Myra, if I take her in with me, they’ll give me credit; it’s her teacher.”
A couple minutes later, he pulled in front of Wilson’s Carry Out. He got out and said, “come on Dot.” I said, “no, I don’t want to.” “Get out of the goddamn car now and go in here with me!” Oh, how I didn’t want to go in.
Mrs. Wilson was at the cash register and had a shocked look on her face and spoke to me, and I said hello back to her very quietly with my head down. She was a portly woman, with short, curly hair and had a white apron on with a pencil stuck on top of her ear. My Dad went up to her and said, “I was wonderin’ if you wouldn’t extend me some credit until I get paid next Friday, we need some groceries.” She said, “sorry, we don’t extend credit sir, it’s strictly cash and carry.” He persisted, “but it’s only for a week and I’ll be back in here next Friday evening to pay ya’. Ya’ know it’s expensive trying to feed a family these days.” She replied, “yes, I know it is Sir, but I’m sorry, we don’t give credit.” He didn’t respond to her and pushed on me to go out the door. I was so embarrassed I wished I could just die on the spot.
I didn’t hear anything they were saying on the ride back out the creek. I wasn’t even watching how he was driving because I didn’t care if we wrecked and went in the creek or not. When we pulled back into the driveway, I jumped out of the car and said, I have to go water Prince, and I went to the barn and cried and cried and wondered how I would ever face my teacher on Monday. Maybe I would die before Monday and not ever have to see her again.
I didn’t feel hungry anymore.
