Feelings From Being Abuse
Feeling: Guilt
The Lie: You bear responsibility for the events that unfolded in your childhood home. You may believe it was somehow your fault, you could have prevented it, or that there is an inherent flaw within you.
Why: During childhood, while the emotional brain is fully developed, the neocortex—the rational thinking center—does not reach full maturity until adulthood. Children can experience intense emotions but lack the cognitive capacity to comprehend the situation and discern the truth. Consequently, a child may erroneously internalize blame for the violence they witness or experience.
The Truth: It is never a child’s duty to regulate the behavior of adults. I understand that guilt and shame can erode one’s resolve, and this distorted belief has hindered my progress for far too long. I have liberated myself from the confines of my childhood environment. Now is the time to break free from the illusion of guilt and shame.
Feeling: Resentment
The Lie: You harbor deep-seated resentment towards others, believing it makes you a lesser person. You may feel compelled to hold onto bitterness and resentment towards those who have wronged you, thinking it will inflict pain on them and bring you solace.
Why: Past experiences may have left you with unresolved anger and resentment that simmers beneath the surface. Comparisons with those who had a different childhood can trigger thoughts of unfairness, unworthiness, and a desire to see others fail.
The Truth: Those who have endured childhood suffering possess a profound understanding of pain. Rather than perpetuate suffering, I seek to alleviate it. I embody compassion and strive to alleviate the pain of others. When feelings of resentment arise, I remind myself of these truths, choosing compassion over bitterness.
Feeling: Sadness
The Lie: Sadness is an ever-present companion that lingers within you. Despite moments of joy, you find yourself suddenly engulfed by sadness, unable to shake its grip. Life becomes a self-absorbed journey as you mourn the loss of your childhood, both consciously and subconsciously.
Why: The sense of loss consumes your being, stemming from the absence of parental love, the innocence of childhood, and more. You may believe that loss and pain are your destined companions in life. This sadness intensifies when you inadvertently hurt others, whether through words or actions.
The Truth: Today, I choose to focus on the things that bring me gratitude. I find solace in the ability to rest peacefully through the night. I embrace my freedom and acknowledge the profound impact of my childhood experiences. I cultivate a sense of gratitude for the journey of self-awareness and growth.
Feeling: Anger
The Lie: Anger is perceived as a solution for problem-solving and conflict resolution, serving as a substitute for the lack of control, certainty, significance, and security experienced in childhood.
Why: Growing up, you observed adults resorting to anger as a response, inadvertently internalizing this behavior as a norm. Unconsciously, you adopted anger to assert control and communicate unmet needs, using it as a tool for retribution.
The Truth: I can harness the energy of anger and channel it towards my passions. Employing the “DATA” approach, I identify the emotion, explore alternative interpretations, remind myself of the truth, and take purposeful action aligned with my full potential. By pursuing my passions and aligning my actions with my aspirations, I move closer to realizing my desired life path.
Feeling: Hopelessness
The Lie: A pervasive sense of hopelessness pervades your life, convincing you that things will never improve, rendering efforts futile. You may believe that positivity and good fortune are unattainable for someone like you.
Why: Despite your best efforts, the scales tip towards despair, overshadowing moments of joy with persistent negativity. The absence of happiness and a lack of certainty or security breed a sense of hopelessness. When pain and suffering feel uncontrollable, expectations plummet, leading to a mindset of anticipating the worst as a protective measure.
The Truth: Guided through the challenges of childhood, I continue to be guided on my journey. I recognize that I am not alone in my struggles. Drawing inspiration from the resilience of individuals who have triumphed over adversity, including those who navigated domestic violence, I glean valuable lessons to propel me towards realizing my full potential.
