Welcome To My Blog
A warm welcome to everyone joining us today! My name is Phyllis, a survivor of severe child abuse (physically, emotionally, sexually, and neglect.). I am a survivor, and you can be too!
It is my mission to help victims of child abuse become survivors too; help families understand the many aspects of child abuse and how they can help the victim/s; inform the public and judicial system of the devastation and destruction of being abused; and pursue punishment equal to the crime. I’m your proof, you possess the grit and strength to persevere—YOU can get through it and stop the cycle of abuse in your family line.
Hopefully, my blog will help therapists with their patients—giving them a resource where they can read for encouragement, support, affirmation, healing, recovery, and understanding the damage done. Teach parents, teachers and others to know the signs to look for if they suspect a child is being abused.
A little bit about me. My abuse started when I was 3 or 4 years old; and continued until I was twelve and a half. I had disassociated the abuse and had it buried deep within me. I was 41 when I recalled the abuse while in a deep depression; and I am 69 years old now. Odd as it is, many adults recall their abuse at the age of 41. The specialists have no answer for this unusual phenomenon.
Many times, throughout my life, I thought it would have been easier had he killed me than to go through life as I have. Abuse affects every relationship the victim will have in their life. In many cases, abused children cannot begin to reach their full potential in life due to the damage of the abuse, but that doesn’t mean you cannot work through the abuse, heal and be a survivor too; and be a productive individual. The ones who state, “so you were abused as a child—you’re not a child anymore. Get OVER it.” I don’t think anything infuriates me quite the way that statement does. Child Abuse, Neglect and Sexual Abuse is NOT something you get over without a lot of hard work. See a therapist if you’ve been abused in any of its forms.
My abusers were my parents. It was easier for my mother to blame me for the abuse than to place the blame on my father. She treated me like I was his mistress! Mother caught him molesting me on more than one occasion. They had three daughters, with me being the youngest. My mothers’ education was limited to the 7th grade level. She had no working skills, and no one to help her. So, she allowed the abuse to go on and blamed me for it instead of getting rid of him.
My father was an alcoholic—spending his entire paycheck on drinking, gambling and other women. Countless times we had no food in the house to eat however, he would blow his entire paycheck drinking, gambling and carousing. When he’d come home in the wee hours, he’d wake everyone in the household fighting with my mother. He’d scream at her because there was nothing in the house to eat.
When you are a child being abused, most believe it is their fault and somehow, they deserve this punishment. I spent years believing the threatening lies my father told me to keep me quiet. He made me feel like he was doing me a favor. I was filled with absolute terror, shame, and humiliation. When my mother saw stains on my underwear one time, she would say to me, “you dirty little slut.” I was too young to understand what caused the stains, or the meaning of the word, “slut.” Abuse strips you of your self-esteem; and to this day, I cannot look strangers in the eyes. I can check-out at a store and never be able to identify the cashier once outside. Just one aspect of the dirt-low self-esteem that the victims experience. Severe child abuse pretty much assures you of mental disorders in your life. Abuse shatters lives.
